Do I dare start blogging again?

That is the question. A question I will wrestle with, an oiled up question challenging me with a come hither look.

Where do I begin again? What do I write, I mean most of the best shit could potentially get me into in trouble.


and most importantly who cares?

Pizza mountains and Bea Arthur

Ok, I'll admit it I love pizza. In fact maybe a little too much, because my levels of pizza consumption are at least on par with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.


Now, I am not a Big fan of mountains. I mean they look cool and all, but have you ever had to walk up one? It's a bitch, and until I get my jetpack I will remain apathetic Mountains and very tall hills.

As for Bea Arthur, I don't really care bout her, except when I make obscure references to celebrities from yesteryear.

Now, when all three are combined it brings me great joy. Hopefully I can pass this joy unto you through this link.

http://beaarthurmountainspizza.tumblr.com/

braaiiiiiinnnnsssss

For the past few years i've had a hunger, an insatiable hunger for brains. Primary viewing those left inside of a zombie skull to be exploded and spill across my television screen. Now after watching a good deal of visual feasts i have decided that i should make a small list with descriptions of each.

Of course the first film that needs to be mentioned is the one that started it all. The original night of the living dead. If you haven't seen it bye now, well you should and the fact that it has fallen into public domain makes it even easier. In fact the whole thing is on google video, while it is a bit slower paced then the rest of the series it is grandfather of the whole genre what else needs to be said?

Next up is dawn of the dead, both versions, you know what? Instead of writing about all the romero films seperately i won't Just watch them they are good you will like them.

Shaun of the dead, everyone's seen this by now. Not much reason to dissect it.

Deadalive by peter jackson, this is definitely one of the best zombie movies to date, the lawnmower, the baby zombie, the kung-fu priest, mother. It's gratuitous amounts of blood, almost slapstick violence, and off sense of humor really made me appreciate peter jackson's other films more then i already did. Also he made a film called bad taste, it's about aliens who work for a faste food joint trying to harvest us humans as food, it should also be given a watch.

Zombi 2, I would watch this for the zombie vs shark fight scene alone, not to mention that thing that happens to that eyeball. I also think that Claudio Fragrasso of troll 2 fame was connected to this somehow, i wanna say writer or something but not sure off the top of my head.

Black Sheep, maybe not zombies per se, but after watching this i can reaffirm my affinity to New Zealand's brand of humor, also sheep should not drive trucks.

Dead Meat, this was the only zombie film i've seen take place in Ireland which is pretty cool.

DeadGirl, this was something else and really shows how fucked up kids are.

Return of the living dead, was a Russo film. He was romero's partner at first but then they split up. Russo had living dead films Romero had dead films. This film was the pinnacle of the living dead series i would make sure to watch this before any other ones in the series like: return of the living dead part two, necropolis, and rave to the grave. The first two are better then the last two, I left out three because i haven't seen it yet.

Mulberry Street Rat People, this was surprisingly good for being titled what it is. Basically present day new york, people turn into rat people, this middle aged guy who boxes and karates(?) kicks the shit outta rat people and runs into his military daughter who returned home from iraq who is coincidentally also kicking the shit outta rat people. While not as a good as some of the above mentioned it is better then you'd think.

Fido, it's basically Leave it to Beaver but with zombies. Definitely a bit atypical for the genre, also noted that the main zombie, Fido (a friendly zombie) is played they Billy Connolly who was el duce in boondock saints.

Planet Terror (the one with the hot chick with a machine gun leg), i should of listed this a bit higher up. It's very fast paced, very funny, very ridiculous and very awesome, just watch it. This was the Rodriguez half of the Grindhouse double feature, the other being death proof by Tarrintino.


That's it for now, i know im leaving a bit out i'll edit this again later; and to think the thing that got me hooked on zombie movies was a case of gangrene.

Trampolines, Lasers, and trouble

So in the time that i have not posted anything on here I have come upon a full size thirteen foot trampoline. Not really caring for trampolines personally i put it for sale on craigslist I haven't gotten any great offers yet, (a jogging stroller for triplets, and 75 bucks have been the best so far) In addition to that I also got a rad laser. I nearly blinded my self with it a few times, interesting things should be ahead.

The film was a success. It was a lot of fun making over the course of this week, I'd especially like to thank the man in the doorway i scared for not freaking out and calling the cops or anything. I mean i was wearing a balaclava and OJ gloves, it didn't help when my briefcase opened up and the contents spilled out. (please note that that is a cap gun)

I've decided to make a sequel, it will be kinda like The Road Warrior except about pizza instead of gas.

Here's a link to a rough edit of the film.

Don't cry over spoilt milk

The cooler was not in it's usual place, I think it was moved but i'm not sure. I will continue the search when i go back to work in a few days. You can't make an omelette with out breaking a few eggs, and in this case if the milk remains lost i'll be breaking more then a few eggs and throwing some fish into the mix. On another note i'm going to be producing a film for a small film festival. It will win.

Here's part of the script, I have one 6 days.

Milk, a dish best served curdled and full of revenge.

About two months ago, Anthony Fallon of Flint Michigan stole thousands of dollars of camera gear from me, and a friends macbook. The police didn't do anything, my arms don't reach far enough to punch someone two states away, all the gear was most likely sold hours after it was stolen. I've already replaced my gear through the miracles of insurance, but like elephants Toucans do not forget.

So, about four to five months ago as i was closing at work I found a sippy cup full of milk or possibly breast milk. Being a mischievous rascal i instantly started thinking about who i could prank with this gross milk. I put it in a common area, and nearly forgot about it for some time. By this time I hope it is still rotten and smells like death. I have already sealed up a box and have it ready to be shipped out. As long as the milk is nice and disgusting, and i construct some sort of makeshift hazmat suit out of garbage bags and tape i think i will survive.



There is a small possibility that the milk is gone because the place it was located has received a new floor. I'll find out within an hour, and if that is the case i will just have to start over or maybe just get some special nilbog milk high in vitamin content.

GTGT

Throughout the history of civilization mankind has made many great achievements and advancements; the industrial revolution, going to the moon, democracy, not pooping in a hole in the ground, medicine, and garbage tobogganing. Now while garbage tobogganing might sound like a disgusting experience, in truth it is far from it; well that depends on where you get your garbage. Traditionally bike boxes are used but ripped open with their contents spilling out like that of a gutted fish. It is a beautiful and ceremonious event, but what could make it better you might ask?

I will tell you what can and will make it better.

Multiple garbage toboggans being constructed at once. In a stroke of unparalleled genious, Eric and I have decided to throw a midnight Garbage Toboggan Grand Tourney. The races will start at midnight because, well that just a badass time to start a race. This event will be taking place within a weeks time and once all the details are ironed out i will make sure that all of you out there in TV land are aware and updated.


and until next time, stay cool- The Greasy Toucan

Hello Friends

Too everyone out there in tv land i am making a blog now, because it is less likely to get shit talked then say keeping a diary. This post was just to secure the name, look forward to more soon.